Sunday, May 30, 2010

Dalai Lama offers social media users advice on avoiding conflict


Social media sites are just as prone to unconscious processes as physical environments. Indeed, you could put forward an argument that they are more so, as many clues used to test out (and refute) our hypotheses about others are either not available, are truncated or we are even forced to adapt our language to suit the constraints of the medium (as with the 140 character limit imposed by Twitter).

This is a problem where the communication is between people who know one another, but on sites where there is a mixture of people who do know one another (to varying degrees) with some who do not, the potential for both conscious and unconscious problems to arise is enormous.

In any group, forum, or club, a hierarchy of users soon evolves. Part of this hierarchy may be deliberate - the site 'founders', for example, may be accorded some status by the users or may consciously exert it for themselves. The same applies to 'staff' members. They are more likely to be more familiar with the use of social media generally, and the specific environment that they have created, and this may confirm their perceived status.

Others may feel that, by virtue of the amount they pay, they deserve a different status. (Bear in mind that this 'feeling' may not be conscious, ie they may not be aware of it.) For some, this will be exacerbated by the visible labels they are given. Ecademy, for example, has 'gray-stars', Power Networkers, Blackstars and Foundation Members. Some social media sites, keen to promote the different levels, will deliberately fuel this sense of specialness, whereas others will not or may do so in more subtle ways. Some members will be pleased to accept the status accorded to them, others will not.

People who volunteer to run sub-groups within the overall forum may feel they deserve a different status. Those who put in effort 'offine' might do so too, and those who feel that they give without any recompense may place themselves above those who give but expect some reward. This is a phenomenon that charities are well used to, with some volunteers, for example, never claiming their expenses and thus affording themselves more virtuosity than those who do claim.

On social media sites it is very rare for 'elections' to be held to determine leadership. In most cases, the individual merely claims the role and in the absence of any other contenders they have it. On one site, last year, ownership of the domain was given by the founder to someone new. The choice was based largely on the original owner's perception that this individual was more likely than anyone to build the site rather than let it decline. As the membership perceived this new owner to have his own commercial agendas there was an immediate flurry of anger. Twelve months on, most people won't even remember it.

Commonly, an individual who has acquired status in one area, expects it in another. So, the leader of a group in one aspect of the forum expects (consciously or unconsciously) to be treated specially or to be accorded status when they are participating in another part of the site. A common demonstration of this is where they offer wisdom in an authoritative tone on another part of the site when their status has been acquired in a different one. Some sites will allow them to do this, on others they will be flamed by members for their perceived arrogance. This may simply go against the culture of the site, or it could depend on the degree of integration of members across the different areas.

Most social media sites have some users who are active, some who are less so, some who are passive observers and some who never visit once they have registered. Some of the popular software applications for developing social media sites (Juku, vBulletin, and phpbb) can be set to accord status depending on the number of posts a user makes. Often they label the user visibly with words like... starter, novice, learner, regular, expert, old codger, and supreme commander. How the user and others interpret these labels depends on a plethora of factors, but they all impart some kind of status.

And finally, language can be used to try to exert authority. On one site, for example, a new product was recently launched and, within days, the early adopters were offering to "mentor" others. They could have chosen more neutral language; "If it would help, we could have a chat and I can tell you what happened with mine." To 'mentor' someone implies breadth of experience, a depth of understanding based on their own reflective practice, groundedness, and a generosity that is free from seeking personal advantage. Again, the unconscious effect of their intervention was to seek to reinforce some kind of status.

Under some circumstances, unflinching acceptance of someone's status, the authority that goes with it, and the expectation that their decisions should be followed almost without question, is expected. Increasingly though, the evidence is that the correlation between status and effectiveness in decision making is quite poor. Back in 1995, I wrote a book, "Self Managed Team Working", which highlighted some extreme examples of organisations that removed managerial status completely and discovered exceptional levels of productivity and creativity among staff who had previously never been able to demonstrate their talents.

His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama has been using the social media site, Facebook, as an outreach tool for some time. In today's message he offers some advice to society in general, but which has particular relevance to social media sites too. He says;

"As human beings, we are all the same, there is no need to build some kind of artificial barrier between us. With this attitude, there is nothing to hide, and no need to say things in a way that is not straightforward. So this gives me a kind of space in my mind, with the result that I do not have to be suspicious of others all the time. And this really gives me inner satisfaction, and inner peace."

In acknowledging the danger of status, he is highlighting the two sidednesss of it. Just as you might seek status, so I have to choose to give it to you. Coming from a psychodynamic persuasion, the model I tend to use to explore the dynamics of power is that of the family. As young children we observe, interpret and store away a repertoire of responses to situations and mental models of how life is supposed to work. As adults we wheel these out under circumstances that may, or may not, be appropriate. For many of us, the person of status is provoking responses associated with our relationship to our mother or father. Conversely, they are anticipating a response from us parallel to that which they gave to their parents when they were children. But, of course, we are no longer children. And it is when one person knows that and behaves as an adult, and another does not and tries to act as a parent that social media problems (as in real life) explode. But that takes us into the realms of transactional analysis and time for another blog!

I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


Best wishes


Behind the scenes, helping those of power see themselves, other people and situations differently
grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net - thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Interpreting SOHO business names


A question posed on a forum recently pushed a few buttons in me...

"Do you think a company name ending with 'consulting' is good for consulting business as well as social enterprise business?"

As some of you know, for the last few years, I've been a guest speaker at the annual careers convention for volunteers held in London. One of the masterclasses that I lead is on Portfolio Working and the topic of "What do I call myself?" often comes up. Yes, I do have a strong opinion about this...

What are people buying? If they are buying something very specific (eg ironing, scaffolding, ready meals for the housebound) then PERHAPS a business name that reflects this will help them find you and save you explaining what it is that you do every time you meet someone new.

Are you selling many things according to their needs? If so, then they are actually buying YOU on the basis of your own credibility, reputation, persuasiveness. In this case, a business name that incorporates your own is going to help them remember you when something unusual comes up.

When they have bought from you, will it be you who does the work or one of a gaggle of mates who are prepared to work at below your own level in order to get work? If it is you, then I would argue it is appropriate to describe your business in your name. If you do so, but actually use others to fulfill the order, then that is - in my humble opinion - deception. This was a classic business model used by all the big firms of accountants and consultants in the 80s... the client got to meet a Partner all the while they were deciding who to appoint, and once the contract was in place all they ever saw was a trainee. Even if your mates are all proficient it was YOU who was bought and it is you who should deliver unless you were selling a specific service or made it clear that there were other people involved and likely to deliver.

One way in which some practitioners try to address this is by adopting a plural term after their name. Fred Bloggs Consulting, FB Consultants, Bloggs and Co, Blogg Advisors, Blogg Advisory Services, Fred Blogg Associates. If they are selling a range of services, by reputation and fielding a team of a few people to deliver, then I figure this is perfectly appropriate.

However, there's another scenario - Mavis Bloggs sets herself up in business offering generic advisory services (no, let's suppose she's a coach) and she calls herself Mavis Bloggs Associates even though she is only a one-person enterprise. Now we don't only have deception (she's kidding prospects that she is bigger than she is), but also delusion (she's kidding herself that she is more than she is). Even more extreme, is when she decides to make herself look even bigger by putting the name into initials - MBA and going global (MBA International)!

Now, sadly, in my experience these folks are often lacking confidence and they adopt this style to prove their own worth to themselves. The tell-tale sign is when their business card goes on to say, Founder, Proprietor, Senior Vice President etc. Rarely in professional services, but for some reason quite common among trades-people they go one step further and instead of providing their first name seek to be known by their surname and so their card, even their local newspaper adverts, refer to Mr F Bloggs. We have a local audiologist like this what he hasn't thought through it how this is received by his target market - pompous, arrogant, self-centred, old are all terms I hear people apply to him.

So, what do you do if you've decided you don't want to be known by your name but prefer something else? This is where self-employed consultants think clever and come up with all manner of associative names - Wholistic Consulting, Inner Mind Coaching, Performance Matters, R-E-S-U-L-T-S, and so on. As a step in the evolution of their thinking this makes some sense as they are beginning to build, in their own mind, a description of what is unique about them. What they don't often do is look at the names of successful competitors and ask why they call themselves what they do? It depends hugely on the specific market, but generally people like to buy from people not from dreams. Cadbury is Cadbury because that was the surname of the founder. Executives at Cadbury buy services from people they know and trust and they shape those services to match their needs, they don't generally go straight to Wholistic Consulting and say "I like your brand can I have some please?"

So, no definitive answers, just a lot of questions to ask yourself when exploring your motives behind the name you trade under. Good luck, and do send me a business card!

I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


Best wishes


Behind the scenes, helping those of power see themselves, other people and situations differently
grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net - thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Tips for professional business development seminars


Tips for professional business development seminars

In the last few weeks I've been to three business development seminars. It's a common tool in the marketer's kit, but it is easy to do badly and to lose the little credibility that you had gained by inviting people along. The following thoughts were prompted by these experiences.

1 Attend a few other events and make notes of what they did well and not so well. Mentally run through your own plans anticipating the needs of all kinds of delegates - including those who arrive late or are given different directions. Walk the experience from the car-park to the room envisaging and preventing what you can see might detract from participants' enjoyment.

2 Prepare and practice your contribution. Iron out mannerisms. record yourself and hone your story. I stopped counting the "you knows" at the event on Thursday, when it reached ten in one minute! No excuse.

3 Make sure that you've got a couple of excellent case studies to draw on that are directly related to the audience. Work them out in detail before and be sure that you know the sector well. At the same Thursday event, the presenter tried to waffle through a poorly conceived model of a 'hairdressers salon', when he clearly still had his hair cut by his mother using a pudding basin!

4 In an hour you can't explain everything. You should expect to get no more than 5 points across. Stick to the old formula from advertising - Attention. Interest. Conviction. Desire, and Close.

5 First impressions count. While people are now more relaxed about dress standards the downside is that, in forming their opinions, they place more emphasis on your words. This is not just in terms of the content but the anecdotes and asides. NEVER knock your competition and absolutely NEVER knock your audience. If you invited people with an incentive don't make fun of them for taking you up on the offer.

6 No matter how warm a glow you are getting from some members of the audience ALWAYS respect the whole audience and never run over the time you gave in your invitation. Don't focus on one person over others and don't deviate from the topic to suit a whim. Always thank them profusely for contributing their time and promise a gentle follow-up call.

I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


Best wishes


Behind the scenes, helping those of power see themselves, other people and situations differently
grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net - thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info

Monday, May 10, 2010

The myth of the SoHo entrepreneurial boom


There's a popular perception that one of the trends of the 'noughties' was a growth in the proportion of 'SoHo' businesses.

As Wikipedia defines it: "The modern concept of small office/home office, or SoHo, refers to the category of business, which involves from 1 to 10 workers. SOHO can also stand for small or home office or single office/home office. A larger business enterprise, one notch up the size scale, is often categorized as a small business. When a company reaches 100 or more employees, it is often referred to as a Small and Medium-sized Enterprise (SME)."

It seems to me that there have been four groups who have most vociferously propagated this perception:

1 Convertors of home offices - the firms who specialise in turning a spare bedroom, or other space, into a designer place to work from home. This began as a trend in the 80s, for companies to allow executives who were travelling increasingly long-distances to spend a little time each week recuperating (though they would never describe it in those terms) by 'working from home'. As pressure mounted further, and trust began to decline, so these busy types were expected to demonstrate that they could work from home and one way of doing this was to have a mini-office at home. As technology boomed, and broadband became a reality, so the SoHo was born.

2 Governments, keen to spread wealth across the country rather than have it polarised in Cities, with all the infrastructure problems that this causes, recognised and promoted the value of working from home. This message reached its first peak in the late 1980s when dramatic reforms in the financial services sector meant that many large companies, seeking to reduce their own liabilities due to mis-selling, began to shift the onus for sales from their own staff to 'independent financial advisors'. It persists today, because Governments realise that people resent being packed like sardines into commuter trains and instead prefer to leave two hours earlier and drive in their own tin protector. The environmental consequences are horrendous and smart politicians realise that they need to promote SoHo enterprise for sound environmental reasons.

3 The self-employed, professional. With the initial wave of independents in the financial sector discovering the comfort of working more locally, and especially from home, so other professionals began to consider the possibility for themselves. They did so tentatively, and they found that it was often not as easy as they had, at first, thought. While they might be a very good, indeed exceptional, designer, computer programmer, telecoms engineeer, project manager, or whatever, working from home was isolated and called on both strong resilience to being alone, and good interpersonal skills to be able to 'sell' what one did. Bear in mind too, that the choice was often sold quite hard to them by their former employers, keen to reduce overhead without seeming to 'lay people off'. Many found this transition very hard, and their self-esteem began to suffer. So, imagine their relief, when they discovered that they were not alone? And to reassure themselves that they were not alone, they were happy to propagate the perception that they were not the only ones making this lifestyle 'choice'.

4 And so, the 'trend' was born. And, to nurture it, a wholly new industry emerged - the industry of 'social networking' - amusingly named, since it has little to do with 'social' and is all to do with 'business', whether online (through 'social networks', such as Ecademy and LinkedIn) or offline (through BRE, BNI, or one of thousands of semi-formalised networks meeting for a 'power breakfast' at golf clubs and hotels around the world). And to sustain their business model, this industry has to propagate the perception that the SoHo is a growing trend.

Just how accurate, then, is the perception that there's a growth in the proportion of self-employed people working from home? Government statistics are readily available these days (http://www.statistics.gov.uk) and extensive time-lines can be traced.



This data shows us that changes have certainly not been 'steady' - the trend is not exactly constantly upwards! There was a 25% increase in self-employment overall between 1986 and 1989. The level remained relatively stable then, if hovering between 3.3M and 3.6M (ie a 10% shift) can be called 'stable'. There was then a substantial decline from 1995 to 2000 from 3.6M to 3.3M, and then a rise back again from 2000 to 2003. A Government enquiry, at the time, demonstrated that the single largest contributor to this was the change in working practices in the banking, finance and insurance sector which forced/encouraged many people formerly employed in those areas to become self-employed.

Since 2003, the overall number of self-employed has continued to grow however the rate of growth in employment has been faster than that of self-employment (ie the proportion of self-employed in the workforce is reducing, albeit only slightly).

Yes, there's been a growth in the absolute number of SoHo businesses, but as a trend in the overall employment picture? No, it's a myth.

Why do we believe so passionately that this myth is a reality? Above everything else, there's a psychological component - a kind of 'reticular activation' which is the scientific reason why we see more cars of the same make, model, and colour as our own soon after we have bought it. Suddenly, that unique rusty-red designer hatchback, that we thought was so unique, is everywhere - oh, what trendsetters we are in our family!

The same is true of our lifestyle choice to be a SoHo worker - as we meet more such people, then we extrapolate that to the rest of the population. Among the self-employed, there's a desire to feel 'normal' and so we see more people who are 'enjoying' the same lifestyle, and we delude ourselves that this is the norm, while we play down in our minds the people we meet who are, and have always been, 'commuter drones' (as one blog described them only this morning)!

There's also a white collar issue - self-employment has been more common for longer among manual jobs than 'professional' ones - farm labourers, milk-roundsmen, shop-keepers, and so on, were generally self-employed. As many modern-day 'professionals', tend to disassociate themselves from manual workers, they tend to 'forget' that these folk have always been 'entrepreneurs'.

You would rarely hear a dairy roundsman (one of the early franchise opportunities - forced to start selling bread, eggs and all kinds of other produce to make a living competing against the spread of the supermarket) describe themselves as an 'entrepreneur'.

However, with the arrogance that comes from 'knowledge' work, those who try one way of processing information, and then another, struggling to find one that actually generates an income, don't stop there but describe themselves as 'serial entrepreneurs'.

Next time someone tells you that the next best thing since sliced bread is to become a SoHo social networker, check out their agenda, consider selling milk at the same time, or step back and decide whether you are really cut-out for this choice or prefer to stay among the undiminished ranks of the employed.

I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


Best wishes


Behind the scenes, helping those of power see themselves, other people and situations differently
grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net - thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info

Monday, May 03, 2010

What is the 'point' of personal development?


Do you visit a coach or therapist to grow? Can people who are 'happy' in themselves benefit from coaching or therapy? If someone is 'doing alright' why should they consider personal growth and emotional development?

From a recent online group discussion....

Timothy: Are there any online directories that allow counsellors/psychotherapists to promote their practices specific to the area of positive adult development?

Graham: Funny question, Timothy. There's lots - some local and some global, ranging from the generic Yellow Pages to specific ones run by psychotherapy membership bodies. In fact, I can't actually think of any Directory that promotes negative adult development! Could be a good theme for a comedy act though. Best wishes, Graham.

Geoffrey: Just out of curiosity, what's the difference between "adult development" and "adult education"?

Graham: I'm not sure that there's a widely recognized difference, but in the circles in which I work, AE would embrace all aspects of intellectual enhancement, whereas AD would refer to enhancing the emotional and spiritual awareness of an individual. Regards, Graham.

Geoffrey: Truly not wishing to seem obtuse, but (here it comes) isn't the objective of most therapy to help patients/clients develop a healthy physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual life experience? It certainly has been my focus for, oh, the last 40+ years or so. Is Adult Development somehow genuinely different or is it a terminological twist?

Graham: I don't think there's any discrepancy here? I can't think of any form of post-adolescent psychological therapy that isn't "adult development". There ARE other adult development interventions which are not therapy, per se, but their followers would say are "developmental" - the most obvious being religions, new age movements, and cults.

And yes, I too would say that therapy has the objective of leading to a "healthy physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual life" though with the emphasis on the last two, and usually where the first two are outcomes of the therapy rather than the main focus. Thus, I would work with a client on the psychological blocks to a healthy lifestyle, but I wouldn't coach them around a running track.

It is hard to define, but in the UK, at least, AE would embrace all fields of knowledge and skill, not just those about the internal growth of a human being emotionally and spiritually. For example, AE includes carpentry, plumbing, foreign language proficiency, car mechanics, cookery and handicrafts. While these can be used as levers to enhanced emotional and spiritual understanding and hence could be described as "developmental" unless a class was called "Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance", or something similar, those signing up for a "Do-It-Yourself Electrics" course probably wouldn't be expecting any profound insights into their psyche.

It was Timothy who used the two phrases in his personal description, perhaps he would like to explain more?

What I was picking up on was his inference that he was looking for directories that focused on POSITIVE adult development. As I said, I can't think of any examples of adult development directories that might focus on the NEGATIVE. I suppose the entries might read something like this:

"Dr Graham Wilson, specialist in the creation of distress, anxiety and phobias. If you thought you were 'fixed' see me! If you don't feel suicidal after just one visit then your fees will be refunded."

I notice that Timothy speaks of "Optimal Adult Development", so I guess he is embracing both negative and positive. I can relate to that, as personally, I am rather concerned about people who focus exclusively on the positive - this seems to ignore the reality of the hardships of life and could be seen as a form of denial at the very least. As you can imagine, I don't hang out with people who have had their teeth artificially whitened and their lips surgically enhanced to emphasise their smiles!

I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


Best wishes


Behind the scenes, helping those of power see themselves, other people and situations differently
grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net - thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info