Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The use and abuse of power at work - Association (4/21)


By association, we gain personal worth without necessarily having to do anything in particular to deserve it. We rely on the body with which we are associated to perform and we bask in that glory.

Obtaining power and influence through association is at the heart of many conservative institutions. Fathers who attended a certain school may be offered the right to send their son to the same one, or may be heard to have 'put his name down before he was born'. It may be far easier to do this than to join a lottery for a place at an even better school. The school is only relatively recently measured by the academic achievements of its pupils, but instead is seen as a launching point for a career because of the power it conveys 'by association'.

The same applies, of course, to the college or university that the individual goes on to attend. If they make it to Oxford or Cambridge, then it is the college that counts. If it is to a lesser university such as Bristol or Aberdeen, then it may be the Hall of Residence that bestows prestige. There's even an inverted snobbery around two places that Victorians might have sent their less-academic sons to - Camborne School of Mines and the Royal Agricultural College in Cirencester.

Many students choose a university because of its prestige, rather than its quality in their particular field, knowing that they will later derive power by association. They may decide which companies to apply to, in the hope that once recruited, regardless of their personal performance, their CV will 'look good'. One reason why class polarisation happens around universities is because students from poorer backgrounds, state schools and who are the first in the family to enter higher education, often don't get advice about the longer-term prestige of certain institutions, especially in respect of particular disciplines.

Professional bodies try to acquire this prestige, as it appeals to prospective members, by purporting to have exacting entry requirements when in practice it is simply the colour of someone's money that leads to their acceptance. Some, such as the "Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce" (RSA) in London, have been so successful at this in the past that, even though membership is effectively open to all, you will see otherwise highly esteemed individuals forego listing more substantial and significant memberships in favour of FRSA after their name. Other popular professional bodies that appear to convey similar kudos are the Royal Geographical Society and the Institute of Directors.

For those who feel an affinity to a particular trade or profession, there are the Livery Companies which almost automatically lead to Freedom of the City of London. Then, of course, the ultimate in membership bodies are the London clubs. A few remain quite exclusive, but many have been forced to widen their net and today will accept almost anyone who is able to afford their fee and gets to know a couple of existing members.

Just as graduates may seek to join certain 'blue chip' companies, so those who have worked for them will draw on this to assume power by association. There is no firm definition of a blue-chip company, the term is simply applied to large, creditworthy businesses with well known brands. The precise membership of this 'club' is constantly changing but most have an enduring strength.

In many situations, the assumption is made that it is at the time of joining the 'elite' organisation that screening will have happened - such that only someone who is particularly good would be accepted there. Ironically, of course, it is mainly when we are recruiting that we assign an individual more power than their counterpart because of their previous associations, thereby perpetuating the myth that the individual is somehow deserving of their status.

Officers in the Army have a remarkably consistent way of speaking. While there are exceptions, and there has been a tendency to maintain a modicum of regional pronunciation, the Sandhurst dialect is widely recognised and instantly allows one officer to recognise another many years later when they meet around the boardroom table. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/personal-view/3589742/Its-fashionable-to-speak-like-a-warrior-again.html)

Without doubt selection for, and being graduated by, Sandhurst, is one of the toughest screening processes that a young person is going to experience, so it is little wonder that so much kudos is attached to it. Power by association that will last a lifetime.



This process is by no means restricted to the educated, upper middle class. The military have also always imbued the troops with a regimental identity. It is well known that a significant proportion of the younger people entering the Forces have had an unsatisfactory childhood and the Regiment soon becomes a new family to them. They gain power by association with it and, in turn, make their own contribution to its ongoing reputation. There are countless small details that allow a former soldier to recognise one of their peers. Apart from physical bearing, ties, watch straps, pin badges, blazer buttons, and subtle verbal cues all play a role.

Any excuse to include a little Porridge...



Even the prison system offers power by association. It is said that there's a hierarchy of establishments among prisoners - the tougher the establishment the tougher you must be perceived to be by the 'establishment'.

Power by association is totally dependent on the audience. In some sectors of society other forms of association have given them power. Obviously this is one of the forms of power exerted by membership of gangs. Gang membership provides the protection and sense of belonging that a family could give as well as a sense of identity.



At the end of the day, power gained by association is simply a form of false reputation, however, to work within some institutions and professions it is essential in order to conform to the culture. It might be worthwhile reviewing your own 'associations' and deciding whether the power that you derive from them is appropriate or not.

I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


Best wishes


Behind the scenes, helping those of power see themselves, other people and situations differently
grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net - thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info

Monday, March 29, 2010

The use and abuse of power at work - Position (3/21)


With many positions (ie roles within structures) comes power. Obvious examples include presidents, prime ministers, chief executives, chairmen, and archbishops. While safeguards may be built in to limit the scope of their power, such people will already be skilled manipulators of their environment before they even assume the top role.

This characteristic of these roles has led them to be stereotyped and subsequently parodied by comedians around the world. This is an old tradition and can be found in works such as Chaucer's Canterbury Tales and Voltaire's Candide. Monty Python often used this approach taking an authority figure (such as a military officer, the police, judges, Conservative politicians, BBC news announcers, and even God) and exagerating their stereotyped mannerisms to an extreme ultimately spouting complete nonsense. Examples include:

* Police officers, as seen in the Keystone Kops, Inspector Clouseau, Reno 911!, Police Academy, The Thin Blue Line and Carry On Constable.
* Soldiers, as seen in Sgt. Bilko, Carry on Sergeant, Stripes, Blackadder Goes Forth and Il Capitano in the Commedia del Arte.
* Civil servants, as seen in Yes Minister, Carlton Brown of the F.O.[2], The Ministry of Silly Walks and Spin City.
* Priests, as seen in All Gas and Gaiters and Father Ted.
* Teachers, principals, and deans, as seen in Animal House and High School High.

Thirty years on, and this clip from "Yes Minister" shows exactly how positional power can be used and abused by those in the know...



The world is going through a substantial transition, and has been certainly since the 2nd World War, with the power that we were prepared to give such people in authority being severly limited, made far more transparent, or the process by which these roles are allocated being far more clearly defined. The status of politicians has most recently come under threat, as the UK expenses scandal was rather bizarrely very slowly unfolded to achieve its maximum effect. Before that, reforms of the House of Lords had already seen many hereditary peers replaced from their positions of power with life peers whose background and personal achievements were far more visible. The power of the Prime Minister in the last decade or so has shifted enormously compared with the days of Margaret Thatcher. During the Falklands Crisis, she relied upon the naivety of MPs to assume that communication with the forces in the South Atlantic took hours if not days to effect. Today, Gordon Brown's cabinet decisions surrounding the Afghan conflict are subject to instant scrutiny and no-one expresses any surprise that wounded service personnel are brought back within hours to the UK for specialist hospital treatment. As the Catholic church reels with the escalating revelations of sexual abuse by its clergy in the 70s, 80s and 90s, those who thought they would never be questioned are finding that society has changed substantially within their lifetime.

Obviously the assumption of positional power applies to all kinds of role, to some extent dictated by the circumstances. Under certain conditions, for example, a police officer may have positional power (such as the power to detain or arrest someone) but in other situations they have none other than that given to them by members of the public who assume that they know what to do in a particular situation. Of course, this isn't always the case...



The classic series of experiments by Prof Stanley Milgram of Yale University, beginning in 1961, in which volunteers playing the role of 'teacher' were asked to inflict electric shocks on a 'learner' when they gave a wrong answer to a word-pairing exercise, demonstrated that most people were even prepared to obey an instruction from the experimenter when they believed that it was causing severe pain, if not unconsciousness and death. They very effectively demonstrated that normal people, acting under orders from someone in authority, would obey those orders even if they meant going against their personal beliefs. In this case, the positional power was derived from being an 'expert'. These experiments would never happen today, because of the ethical constraints, but the science was solid and they have been featured in countless programmes and publications over the years.



So most positions come with power attached, although the extent to which this is unquestioned is shifting enormously particularly for public positions. The private sector has just as much power attached to its roles though it seems to be lagging behind the public in the degree to which it becomes transparent.

The key to most positional power is that it is a balance between that which is genuinely vested in the role and that which people are prepared to give the person in authority.

How we relate to people in authority is largely dictated by our experience of authority figures in our childhood. People who are brought up to unquestioningly respect their parents, other people, teachers and so on, are likely to give away more power to other authority figures, such as managers and employer organisations, in their adult life. Those who do not have the same obedience instilled into them, are less likely to give away power to (or even recognise) their 'seniors'.

Interestingly, the number ONE message from children to parents is that they understand that they may need to be disciplined, but it should be done with respect - not by abusing the parent's authority.



The extent to which someone in a position of power, such as a business manager, is entitled to power because of their position has to be considered on a case-by-case basis. Twenty years ago, I worked for one company where the 'right' of a senior manager to a named parking space was abolished. They argued that there should be a "first-in, nearest-parked" policy. Last year, I was working for a company where the 'top' dozen managers had named spaces within a few feet of the main entrance, whereas other employees had to walk at least a couple of hundred feet from their car to their entrance and in many cases far more. Is a manager with a PA entitled to have coffee brought to them from the machine, or do they have to get their own? Is a manager entitled to be abrupt, rude, to swear at, other employees? Are they entitled to demand attendance outside the employee's normal hours, or to force them to work when they might have taken leave?

Of course, there will be some managers who exert more power than they are reasonably entitled to, or do so in circumstances where most members of society might question their behaviour. These 'standards' are highly dependent on context, but nontheless, courts are beginning to establish unambiguous definitions of bullying and harrassment - the perpetrators of which often believe that their position entitles them to behave in a particular manner. The following clip twists this around - and delivers a powerful message both about workplace behaviour and domestic violence. Some men in a relationship believe that being male gives them positional power over their partner...



Perhaps one of the most high profile cases of potential positional power abuse in recent months was that of David Letterman who openly admitted having sex with female members of his staff.



It is the use, abuse, and misperceptions of this power, that often causes problems. Over time, society changes the power that it assigns to a particular role, and we often hear examples of the impact of this. Without doubt, in Britain, the respect shown for people like police officers, teachers, and parents, has diminished in the last fifty years or so. Similarly, by virtue of their "celebrity" status, today we are prepared to give far more authority to pop-stars, movie actors, and football players. It is the basis of celebrity endorsements and is a powerful influencer of our behaviour.

Of course, this use of celebrity power is not always negative. As Dame Diana Rigg points out celebrities are frequently used to raise funds for charities for precisely this reason - the public give them an authority and the celebrities themselves do not always perform the scrutiny that they could to justify this.



I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


Best wishes


Behind the scenes, helping those of power see themselves, other people and situations differently
grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net - thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The use and abuse of power at work - Control (2/21)


The first form of power that I want to acknowledge is control. Most people seem to be aware of the problems caused by excessive control, and it is a form of power that few people will say they use even though there are plenty of examples of it being legitimised.

As a form of power, control can range from the micro-management tendencies of an individual to the introduction of open plan offices by a company. It may be made to appear acceptable through the use of terms like "compliance", "governance" and "best practice" but essentially all control is concerned with maintaining the status quo - preventing others from doing things without the approval of its perpetrator.

"Health and Safety" is another example of the 'legitimised' application of control which has become so enshrined in work-related jargon, that almost anyone can 'quote' it as a way of stopping people from doing something.



Only yesterday, the UK-based, soft-right think tank, Policy Exchange, published a report damning Health and Safety for becoming a 'ritual excuse' not to do anything (http://www.policyexchange.org.uk/news/news.cgi?id=1146).

Control is usually exerted through mechanisms that involve knowing, supervising, checking up and, more subtly, by creating loyalty. The popularity of loyalty schemes among retailers is nothing to do with rewarding customers, but about diminishing the likelihood of them taking their custom elsewhere. Loyalty becomes a crucial quality for those who seek to use control as a power mechanism. Those in leadership roles may experience staff leaving them as a personal hurt.

It is founded on paranoid traits, an enduring distrust of others with no evidence to justify it, culminating in a conviction that those others are deliberately trying to demean or to cause harm to them. Often the fantasy of what would happen if things were 'out of control' is melodramatic, hysterical, and frenzied.

A fascinating insight into the behaviour of the control-oriented manager can be found in Steve Ballmer of Microsoft, who said the following in a company interview a couple of years ago:
  • "My natural personality is more the hands-on operator than -- I just love, you know, give me details, give me things to handle, handle, handle. I mean, rrrrrrr. (Laughter.) And it's different. It doesn't make it better or worse; it makes it different. So, really I think if you talk to folks, they wouldn't exactly use the word micromanager, but I like detail. (Laughter.)


  • Now watch this video...



    In 2005, Mark Lucovsky alleged in a sworn statement to a Washington state court that Ballmer became highly enraged upon hearing that he was about to leave Microsoft for Google, picked up his chair, and threw it across his office. Referring to Google CEO Eric Schmidt, Ballmer allegedly said, "I'm going to fucking kill Google," then resumed trying to persuade Lucovsky to stay at Microsoft. Ballmer has described the incident as a "gross exaggeration of what actually took place." It would seem that Lucovsky's loyalty to Ballmer had been compromised and, whether exaggerated or not, Ballmer took it far too personally.

    In an interview in Belgium in 2009, Ballmer quoted a line from a Woody Allen movie (Annie Hall) where someone says: "Relationships are like sharks. They either move forward or die". It's an interesting perspective, especially as many people with paranoid tendencies report a fragility or volatility of the relationship between their parents and it is this that most psychologists would point towards as the root of the controller mentality - seeking to take control to limit the scope of others to behave in unpredictable ways.

    Ironically, control weakens power by limiting what other forms of power can do. Ultimately, therefore, in order to express power, the controller needs to relax their control. They have to learn to trust people, and to interpret their behaviour differently, often for the first time in their lives. The tendency emerges in early adulthood, few people who have it will seek help changing it and, even if they do, they are likely to stop trying when the person working with them begins to challenge their thought patterns. It's a difficult conundrum, but one that anyone who works with people of power has to be prepared to address.

    I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
    For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


    Best wishes


    Behind the scenes, helping those of power see themselves, other people and situations differently
    grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net - thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info

    Tuesday, March 23, 2010

    The use and abuse of power at work - Introduction (1/21)


    Human beings share many things with the other members of the animal kingdom. One of these is the drive to be industrious. It goes against our nature to be idle. We create huge empires whose purpose is to keep us engaged in activity. We may delude ourselves that they are to make money, to improve health, to enhance social standards, but in reality, they serve to keep us occupied.

    Psychologists have shown, in numerous studies, that one of the fundamentals to a sense of human well-being is the need to be doing something. This need is often hijacked for other purposes - to pay the mortgage, to feed and clothe our family, to feel we have made a mark on the world, to justify our birth or education even, but the fundamental in there is that we have an instinctual need to be industrious.

    A smaller group of people have a strong need to measure their success through this industriousness. They rise to the 'top' of ever larger organisations and draw strength from the financial results, the employee count, number of branches or offices, perceived impact of their empire and so on.

    As they depend on others to want whatever they have to offer sufficiently strongly to pay for it, so they may seek to improve its quality or reduce the cost of manufacture and delivery. Quality and efficiency efforts provide more work for more people, and inspire an industry in themselves, though for some industrialists such matters are really quite irrelevant as their need is not reflected in the amassing of greater wealth but in the trappings of power that their position brings them.

    Power is not, in itself, wrong. It is used to achieve much good in the world. It is the use and abuse of power that can cause problems. Those people of power need to understand how to apply it to best effect, how to respond to others seeking to use it over them, and how to work with others in a position of mutual power. Psychotherapists often refer to these three states as "power over", "power less" and "power with".

    My own work revolves around helping people in positions of power understand themselves, other people, and situations, in such a way that they can work with these three states most effectively.

    When we start to work together, we often have a discussion about the ways in which these people see themselves dealing with power. There are lots of ways in which you could try to classify power, but I find that one fairly comprehensive review by an American psychotherapist, James Hillman, is a good starting point. He identifies 20 different kinds of power. While I don't find some of his language particularly accessible, and some of his terms are from a different period and culture, I base my own way of looking at the individual and their repertoire of power skills in a similar fashion. This blog, then, is number 1 of 21. The next twenty entries will look at the specific ways in which those of power, derive their power, apply their power, and perhaps abuse their power.

    I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
    For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


    Best wishes


    Behind the scenes, helping those of power see themselves, other people and situations differently
    grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net - thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info

    Saturday, March 20, 2010

    When the experts begin to love themselves - Oliver James


    One of the adjacent villages to our own is trying to raise funds for a new village hall. To do so they have broken free from the usual gamut of bring-and-buy and summer fetes and instead for the last year or so have been hosting some quite extraordinary talks. The speakers have ranged from international figures to quiet experts and many have lived in, or close to, the village. The subjects have been diverse, the discussion lively, and the views sometimes controversial. They have attracted the attention of the national media. If you happen to be interested then their website is www.woottontalks.co.uk.

    Last night's speaker was Oliver James, a well-known clinical psychologist, who has been broadcasting on matters psychological since 1982. James was the epitomy of the 80s phenomenon of self-publicising experts. That's not a criticism. Until then, it had gently been expected that someone with genuine expertise would somehow be recognised and their audience would gravitate towards them. He was one of a new generation of academic who realised that this would not happen. Instead they saw the importance of the popular media in shaping their careers and set about making it work for them.

    Today, this is not at all uncommon - why, even last week, I was harrassed by advertorial emails to take part in a 'webinar' by an "Internationally famous" builder of professional practices for chiropracters, for goodness sake! The speaker's authority was all self-proclaimed and his advice was simply to do as he had done and promote yourself widely as an expert to your own community of (in his case) chiropracters and other complementary health professionals.

    Within the mainstream academic communities there is a more respectable form of this through the numerous chairs in the public understanding of science and similar roles that bring science into society. One of whom, Baroness Susan Greenfield, hit the news headlines for the wrong reasons just before Christmas, when she was unceremoniously evicted from her Royal Institution grace and favour flat amid rumours that she had squandered the limited resources of the Institution on un-warranted and ill-managed 'renovations'.

    Personally, I feel it is a little unfair to castigate someone for poor management when it was a different quality that led them into their position of authority, though this IS the basis of the Peter principle and perhaps Greenfield, and others like her, should be better able to recognise the boundaries of their abilities and bring in experts in other areas when the need arises.

    Other problems though crop up when the addiction to popularity drives its junkie to seek more and more material with which to work. This seems to have been the case when another of this generation of science and medicine popularists, Professor Raj Persaud, an extremely well-known career psychiatrist, was brought before the General Medical Council in 2008, after persistent complaints that he was plagiarising the work of others. The panel's conclusion, before striking him off for three months, spelt out the boundary that such personalities must be so careful with:
    "You are an eminent psychiatrist with a distinguished academic record who has combined a clinical career as a consultant psychiatrist with work in the media and journalism. The panel is of the view that you must have known that your actions in allowing the work of others to be seen as though it was your own would be considered dishonest by ordinary people. The panel has therefore determined that your actions were dishonest in accordance with the accepted definition of dishonesty in these proceedings. The panel has determined that your actions, in plagiarising the work of others, were liable to bring the profession into disrepute."


    In between these extremes are a plethora of authorities who straddle the fence between popularist interpretations of their discipline and the academic rigour that gained them entry to this position in the first place.

    Of course, there have always been such characters. Perhaps more so in the arts and music than the sciences and medicine, but the approach is certainly not unprecedented. A local example would be William Morris, who moved to nearby Kelmscott in the late 1860s. Morris was already a well-established and widely respected designer, manufacturer and architect. Although he had always had a passion for social reform, it wasn't until his name had been well defined professionally, in the late 1870s, that he began to take a leading role in the emerging liberal/socialist movement. Morris was clearly able to see the links between his philosophy of design and his political stance, and wrote about them, but he didn't use the former to justify the latter. Despite some obvious radical tendencies, and a general approach to life that put him on the edge of 'society', he never appears to have lost the rigour of his thought or confused the boundaries of his professional expertise.

    In the last few years, as some of the self-promoting academics has begun to near the end of their working lives, they have produced books that might never before have been accepted for publication. In the past, an academic who wrote one last tome away from his field of expertise, might have found an obscure publisher who would take a limited risk and produce a small print run, but it would have stopped there. Today, publishing is a very different business and, let's face it, many books are bought with an intention of being read but never get opened. The publishers are driven by a profit motive and know that an author who has self-promoted in the past will have a residual market of prospective buyers who will invest in the book by virtue of the author's name rather than any rigour in the content.

    Sadly, this has meant that a few academics, whose reputation in their field was rock solid, have been tempted to branch out into popularist topics without necessarily having the peer structure or basic foundation on which to build their arguments.

    When I began my own brief academic career, I was based at the Middlesex Hospital in London. One of the great anatomists of the day, Professor Lewis Wolpert, ruled the department in which I worked. While, to some, he might have seemed a polymath, he was actually at the core an anatomist but he was absolute in his understanding of the peripheral issues surrounding his subject, and especially the ethics of medical research. I can't disclose the circumstances in which he demonstrated this one day at the Middlesex, but let it just be said that one cohort of medics will never forget the lesson they learned that afternoon. Later in his working life, Lewis suffered from depression and, in coming to terms with it, he wrote a popular book "Malignant Sadness: The Anatomy of Depression" which has received almost universal acclaim from sufferers of the disease. As a psychotherapist myself, working largely with highly intelligent and fully functional clients, I hope that you will see that I have profound respect for Wolpert and how he applied his considerable prowess as a communicator and anatomist to address a topic in which his expertise was primarily that of the patient, but was after-all on the peripheries of his field too. Just a little later, he wrote another popularist book "Six impossible things before breakfast, The evolutionary origins of belief". Sadly, from my perspective, this book took him beyond the disciplines in which he was authoritative and into a wholly different sphere.

    The study of the super-natural, into which religion and mysticism falls, is well-defined and has a strong body of knowledge. By moving from anatomist-communicator to popularist of a different discipline would be one thing, but Wolpert committed the sin of taking an opinion-based stance, and it was this that undermined his credibility. On the basis of this he became a Vice-President of the British Humanist Association and was invited to speak at the European Society for the Study of Science and Theology in Sigtuna, Sweden. His talk was reported as follows:
    "Lewis Wolpert's plenary address entitled "The Origins of Science and Religion" was provocative, amusing and from a totally materialist perspective. In his view, religion arose from the uniquely human need for causal explanations, and neither religion nor philosophy contributed anything of importance to scientific undersanding. ... ESSSAT is to be congratulated for offering its platform to a strong-minded materialist, but in the end Wolpert proved unable to enter serious debate with the conference theme or its participants."


    It's a sad day, when someone you respected highly, steps over the boundary of their own authority and seeks to use this to influence opinion in another field without realising what they are doing.

    So, yesterday, I went along to Oliver James' talk in Wootton with great expectations. I respect James' perspectives on mental health, his evidence-based criticisms of many treatment protocols, even his perception of underlying social conditions that predispose many in society to mental health problems. Indeed, I draw on some of his theoretical views on the predominance of very early nurture in determining many personality traits, in my own work on the behaviour of leaders. Views which, incidentally, are now being seen to have considerably more scientific substance than had previously been supposed.

    So why did I choose to be one of the first to leave the Hall, to get away from the atmosphere that this man had created in the space of an hour and a half? I can tolerate most (though not all) bigots. I can work with -ists of most dimensions, racists, sexists, ageists, and, of course, narcissists. But what I found most offensive in the rhetoric of this man was the way in which he had distorted his science, distorted his evidence, to somehow support his own uniquely cynical political viewpoint. His stance was so twisted that there were probably elements of it that almost everyone would resonate with, indeed could even appreciate the irony in, and yet he somehow distorted these views to the point that there were other aspects that, I sincerely hope, almost everyone would find equally abhorent.

    In one sentence he would express empathy for the social conditions that led a generation of immigrants to be dominated by mental health issues, and then damned 75% of them as players of the social welfare system. In another, he would invoke a delusionist argument for religion, and then credit churches for their role in addressing social needs. There were countless more examples. He derided Harriet Harman for her poor attitude to mothering on the basis that "I know", "Her mother used to live around the corner." He derided Gordon Brown, David Cameron, Margaret Thatcher, Geoffrey Howe, Peter Mandellson, and countless others, for their poor grasp of the economy and kept referring to, what one member of the audience generously described as, 'an over-romanticised' image of Europe.

    And, all the time, he offered the thinnest threads of psychological evidence to support his themes.

    Even those that appeared to be close to his real field of expertise were quite extraordinary extrapolations. In his preamble he slipped in an example that he has been picked up for elsewhere. He presents, as a fact, that nearly half of 15yr old girls suffer from anxiety and that a quarter have full-blown depression. Yet, this is a gross extrapolation from a single study of adolescent girls in Glasgow.

    He suggests that there is overwhelming evidence that maternal anxiety during the third trimester of pregnancy leads to raised cortisol levels in children for 10 or more years, which accounts for them having "attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder" (ADHD). There is actually only one scientific paper that VERY tentatively suggests a CORRELATION (not causality) between maternal anxiety and ADHD.

    There are plenty of articles now building up that criticise James for his opinionated, politically naive, psycho-babble. I shalln't add more to this.

    What interests me is how seemingly authoritative individuals, can suspend their self-critic, and project themselves as experts in other fields without recognising that they are crossing boundaries.

    I have no conclusions, but I would like to draw attention to the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic Manual (DSM-IV TR) which defines the narcissistic personality disorder. In this, the narcissist is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, and prestige. There are a number of criteria, most of which could be recognised among this group of self-promoting scientists. I suspect that the learning, if any, that we need to take with us is that while these extreme and needy individuals may be very articulate, amusing, and persuasive, they are characteristically unable to see things from another person's perspective especially emotionally, and are often interpersonally exploitative, in other words they take advantage of others to achieve their own ends. See them as entertainment, but do not fly too close.

    I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
    For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


    Best wishes


    Working behind the scenes, helping leaders achieve more by reading themselves, people and situations differently
    grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net
    thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info

    Sunday, March 07, 2010

    What DOES 'banter' in social media say about you?


    What DOES 'banter' in social media say about you?

    It's always been there, but recently I've noticed a few of the forums that I visit regularly seem to have begun to develop longer threads and, on closer inspection, much of their length is due to 'banter'. This has the effect of drawing discussion on the original topic to a close.

    A typical example was a perfectly sensible question posed by a novice user about the etiquette on the forum. Answers will all be subjective opinion as there are no definitions of what is and what isn't acceptable there. Within two replies the thread has been taken over by two individuals joking about something completely different. In the case that prompted this article that banter also had a sexual undertone.

    So what does 'banter' say about the people who do it?

    The study of communication generally, obviously, crosses many disciplines, but because it usually has a purpose the starting point is often embedded in sociology. In this context, 'banter' is distinguished from 'small talk' in some important ways. Fairly typical such definitions would be:

    "Small talk is a type of conversation where the topic is less important than the social purpose of achieving bonding between people or managing personal distance."

    "Banter, on the other hand, is non-serious conversation, usually between friends, which may rely on humour or in-jokes at the expense of those taking part. The purpose of banter may at first appear to be an offensive affront to the other person's face. However, people engaging in such a conversation are often signaling that they are comfortable enough in each others' company to be able to say such things without causing offense."

    Gender and small talk

    There is an important gender-related difference in the propensity to use small-talk, which sociolinguist, Deborah Tannen, author of You Just Don't Understand, observed;

    "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with."

    In other words, males tend to use banter as a way of establishing their boundaries with another potentially aggressive male. It always takes one male to initiate this form of exchange. To do so, they need to feel sufficiently confident of their dominance in the pair for them to take the risk of saying something that would, under other circumstances, provoke an attack (even a physical one).

    Banter and escalation to violence

    Bear in mind, that many street fights, fueled by alcohol on a Saturday night, are initiated by this very primitive means of exchange. Male A (who has to believe that he has a chance of being the dominant male) tries it on, by saying something provocative to Male B. There are three responses that B can adopt; a neutral one in which they do not pick up the thread of the conversation but say something that distracts A onto a different topic, a submissive one in which they collude with A's perception of his dominance, or an attempt to push the balance of dominance back in his favour - usually by upstaging A or by saying something even more provocative. And so the exchange goes on. Sometimes the violence escalates there and then; other times, the wounded party retreats only to return later intent on violence (often spurred on by the need to re-establish their dominance among the pack that they associate with).

    Building intimacy and the 'art' of seduction

    For women, as the purpose of the 'small talk' is to build intimacy and connection, displaying overtly aggressive behaviour simply wouldn't work. Instead, most begin an exchange with a mild demonstration of their current state of weakness - describing their vulnerability in a situation, an introverted mood, medical condition, or subordinated relationship at work, for example. The response they are looking for is one of empathy - demonstrated to them not in the psychotherapeutic manner but, as friends might, by acknowledging their situation and then the friend sharing something of a similar nature that they too have experienced. The common experience builds bonds. Solutions and advice are not offered - certainly not directly.

    In a mixed gender environment, these two behavioural styles reinforce separation. The rest of the males will rarely expose themselves to potentially escalating violence - they will simply stand back and watch (with differing degrees of intensity depending on their own sense of social (in)security. Again, depending of the context, the females will either await the outcome (if this is part of their mate selection process) or withdraw to their own enclave. The impact of banter on some women, whether simply through observing two males engaged in it, or on submissive/dominant female sexual identities, is why some books on the "art of seduction" mention its use as a strategy for predatory males.

    Banter as displacement behaviour for emotional pain

    The use of banter in some contexts is a displacement activity - avoiding discussion of more emotionally painful topics. A classic example of this was the style of communication developed among Army officers, especially in the First World War, and perpetuated by some officers even today. In the 1970s, Monty Python even had a sketch based on RAF banter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rKYL0tW-Ek). The sketch also illustrates how banter can be used to maintain social status and is a key weapon in the armoury of bullies.



    Banter, social class, education and bullying

    Banter takes different forms among different strata of society and rarely works across the strata, instead the different styles are used to reinforce the group separation and to subjugate the other group. So a public school educated boy will rarely engage in banter with others unless among a group of similarly educated individuals rounding on someone of 'lesser' class. Equally someone from an ethnically-derived culture, may use their 'patois', to reinforce their supremacy over people in authority. Cross cultural exchanges are another rich source of material for comic scripts as this Armstrong and Miller sketch shows (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwNQf08Kxsw).



    Banter and social media

    Transfer these kinds of exchange to a social media forum, such as ecademy or facebook. While there are some, slightly radicalised forums where banter of this kind is the norm, most business and mainstream social media see it occasionally, may tolerate it, but it is far from commonplace. What leads someone to use it, especially frequently, in their postings?

    Unless there is some significantly different mechanism at play, the individuals using it are suffering from the same desperate struggle as their 'offline' counterparts - an unsatisfied infantile id, trying to avoid the social mores imposed by the super-ego. In the online world, people who might never engage in such exchanges face-to-face, feel less threat from the super-ego, suffer less constraint from a sense of conscience, and are happy to benefit from the instant gratification that their fleeting ability to gain the upper hand in an exchange of banter gives them.

    So why does the online environment disempower the super-ego?

    Much of the power in banter lies in being able to see the effect it has. In the offline world, where such exchanges are usually transmitted by voice and with a gamut of body language to witness the effect is easy to see. Online, where we are largely restricted to the printed word it is far harder. Conversely, online words last into perpetuity whereas the fleeting aside of the physical world has constantly to be reinforced. I suspect, therefore, that it is the lack of other clues that allows the individual to delude themselves into believing that the recipient of their challenge is tolerant of it and also not to detect the effect it has on the larger audience of silent observers. It is this lack of feedback that removes the power of the super-ego.

    Is this a growing trend or one that is shifting?

    Fortunately, I have some faith that this is actually a trend that is diminishing in most settings. Twenty years ago, discussion forums were rife with this kind of unmediated behaviour. It was precisely this that put many people off accessing them for perfectly legitimate reasons. Certainly, I can recall at least a couple of forums where you would expect people to be tolerant of one another and sufficiently educated to not feel the need to resort to what is, after all, very primitive behaviour. Yet, in both cases one or two individuals persistent failure to consider the impact of their language on others led to myself, and I'm sure others, leaving them permanently.

    My sense is that with the massive growth in the use of these media, especially ones operating across wider cultural and social boundaries, and with standards of behaviour reinforced by the communities themselves, we are already seeing this pattern of banter diminishing and its practitioners slowly being ostracised by the other members who want to get on with their real purpose in socialising.

    One well-known commentator on social media is Penny Power, one of the founders of ecademy. She applies an adage "Know Me, Like Me, Follow Me". In a business context, that might be extended to "Know Me, Like Me, Follow Me, Promote Me". It's very hard to like, follow or promote someone who projects the personality of a needy infant.

    I am happy to comment, or deliver keynote sessions, on any of the topics that I post about.
    For media and speaking enquiries, please call me, Graham Wilson, on 07785 222380.


    Best wishes


    Working behind the scenes, helping leaders achieve more by reading themselves, people and situations differently
    grahamwilson.org - businesscoaching.org.uk - inter-faith.net
    thefutureofwork.org - corporate-alumni.info